Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
She's the barista slut.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Randomize
