he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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