it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I just want to make out with him forever
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
