Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
