I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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