You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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