But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
