fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
