you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
