I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
