If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
