oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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