yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize