Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
