I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
