I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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