I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
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