those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
