I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
