Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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