one two three fourrrrnication!
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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