Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Randomize