i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
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