I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
