my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
