I need to stop coming to work sober
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Randomize
