So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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