so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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