apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
