Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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