you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
