So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
