i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
