if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize