i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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