I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
