My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
