Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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