the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize