SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
