We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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