if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Randomize
