I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
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