Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
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