Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize