Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
