Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
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