Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
