I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
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