If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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