Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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