I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
