two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
But we have bathrooms and they dont
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
