at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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