Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
