Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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