Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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