So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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