I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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