I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
Randomize
