Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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