I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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