I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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