Farmville is her only friend.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize