awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Randomize